Awe! Been a while, hey? I didn’t write anything meaningful for almost 3 weeks! Well, actually I did. About politics, toy throwing and retirement. I decided to not make my views public though, and acted in the best interest of motorsport, unlike some people. Even though my views in this regard was widely supported, my supporters do not seem to have the backbone to publicly support me, so….I decided to let it go, and not make more of an unfair situation. Let sleeping dogs lie. Or sleep. Or retire.

There is so much politics on all fronts that I just decided to observe, chill, and be calm in the month of Ramadaan. Btw, Ramadaan Kareem to all my muslim readers, may you achieve God-consciousnous and may all your prayers be answered. A friend told me the other day that in this holy month all prayers are answered and that I should be specific in asking God for what I want. I told him I saw a Mercedes I liked, and he was like “You will get it if you make dua, pray for it, but be specific. Mention the colour, all the specs, and at which dealer it is parked, and your prayers will be accepted”. Ameen.

I forget what I wanted to share….Oh yes! Skelms! I saw a post on Facebook about some guy being conned, and I also saw a lovely set of oldschool TSW alloys. And then I remembered I was conned with a set, and thought I’d share the story.

Years back, when I was young and didn’t know any better (shockingly, I wasn’t always as smart as I am now), I lowered my little Mazda. Coilies were unheard of, and lowering springs had just about come onto the market. Being a student, money was too tight to mention, and I was faced with 2 options. Pay R800.00 for a Jamex lowering kit, or pay R8.00 for a cutting disc? Ok, so maybe I was smart for choosing the cheaper option. I cut off a coil initially, but I have a very “Go big or go home” attitude, and I eventually ended up with only 2 coils on my spring. Actually, it was a coil and a half. Who cared, the idiotic thought of a Ghost Squad didn’t enter our politicians’ minds yet. I also cut off half of my gear lever, and I like to think I was the first person, in 1995, to have a short-shifter in a Mazda. Then again, I was probably the only person to even modify a Mazda. Golfs and Tincans were life. My apologies, Twincams, before I get verbal abuse from Toyota drivers with TRD decals on their Tazzos.

So I had an uber low, no that ain’t the word, a kak low Mazdachie, rolling on 14” OEM rims. Problem is, the car wasn’t rolling as the exhaust scraped the ground. Unlike the limbo addicts of today, I was smart enough to know this would damage the car, and the remedy was a new set of wheels. My neighbour just so happened to have a set of TSW Hockenheims, with a blue centre nut, which matched my blue stripe in my then white car, before it got the “Bumble” paint job. I bought the wheels for R2000 which, in 1995 was like what people are demanding for original Volks now. My late grandmother, God bless her soul, borrowed me the money to buy tyres. This all happened on one Saturday, and by nightfall I had the coolest Mazda in Cape Town. It pretty much looked like a bagged car laying frame these days, except that it could only drive 40kmh cos, well, 2 coil suspension. Sunday morning, like every Sunday morning on the Cape Flats, was spent washing, polishing, polishing and polishing the car, as Sunday afternoons were spent “blomming” at Milky Lane in Sea Point. Shit, it was Hard Rock Cafe, you know, there where fitness freaks hire bicycles now. A few friends and I (ok, 4 friends, cos the more, the lower) went off to Sea Point.  I think the Fresh Prince thought of the lyrics to “Summertime” after he had visited Sea Point, as the atmosphere he describes is pretty much how it was back then. People ogled the Mazda, it even caused an accident, and someone actually snapped his neck, not in the accident, but for turning to see the lowest, baddest Mazda ever.

I felt so proud, I had created a masterpiece, all by myself, and grateful to my neighbour who gave me a good deal on Hockenheims, the rim everyone wanted! Everyone except THOSE guys behind THAT wall in Sea Point, they liked different rims. I heard.

As the sun set, we headed home, and I felt so icy cool, my car was sorted, causing a stir, and was the talk of the Promenade. Usually I park my car in the garage as soon as I get home, but because it looked so totally orgasmic, I thought I’d leave her on the pavement, parked in a pose. MISTAKE!

Half an hour after I got home, I got a knock at the door. Sergeant Adams, and some dude with a Datsun. They came to fetch my Hockenheims. The Datsun’s Hockenheims. His Hockenheims.  But..I only bought it yesterday? You can’t take my wheels! Well, they could, and they did.

It seems my neighbour was a conman. Apparently the wheels were borrowed to him by his friend, the Datsun owner, and he decided to sell it to me, as he needed money to pay a debt. I had no choice but to jack up the Mazda at 8pm on a Sunday night and hand over the wheels. Luckily for me the Datsun dude was honest, and returned my tyres the next day. My neighbour was nowhere to be found, and for about a year after that, I was trying to get my money from him. Eventually I broke into his car and stole, sorry, took his head unit, cos I’m gangsta like that, but I told him it was me, it isn’t like I stole it. He passed away in a car accident a few months later, and truth be told, to this day I’m not too fussed about his death. On the plus side, I had tyres and by the time I had finished paying my weekly fees to my Ouma, I bought a set of OEM 15” Mazda 200i alloys off Rafique from Racing Edge, before he was Racing Edge hahaha. While the OEM alloys brought me much joy and respect, and I probably owned 50 sets of wheels after that, my favourite set is still those TSW Hockenheims, the ones I owned for a day.